If He’s Crazy He Will Come

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Been a while, sorry folks, I just moved, been working on editing some writing of mine (excerpts to come) and getting ready for a big conference. However I had to come back and get on my soap box. What’s grinding my gears now? Apparently my new name is “Likes to Get Stalked By Crazy People”. I’ve had this affliction since I was in college. If there is a crazy person around, usually an indigent, I would attract him. It didn’t matter what I had on. I’ve been in a suit carrying a briefcase and had a dude off the street approach me to flirt. I’ve been out jogging, fully covered except my arms, and was half way home when I realized I was being followed by a homeless man. When I turned around and gave him my best Bmore girl glare, he turned around and walked away. I’ve had crazy men look at me on the subway and not look away just sit there and look at me the whole time.

Lessons I learned: when jogging, periodically always look behind you and keep your music down in your headsets. Always be aware of your surroundings so I am rarely one of those people on the train who is engrossed in my iphone or ereader (not that I have either). I need to know who is around me. It’s not paranoia, its learned behavior from past experiences.

At one point my dad gave me not one but two cans of pepper spray. However I never needed to use them when I moved outside DC in the suburbs. Unfortunately, pepper spray expires after a year so you have to keep getting new ones. I need a defense tool that doesn’t expire, like a baton!

Anywho, I thought my days of attracting the crazies and the ignorant were far behind me but atlas, God must have thought I was getting too lazy in my vigilance because in the past 7 days I have been followed by not one but two crazy people!

The first time, I was heading to a little shop down the street from where I live. I was at a light waiting to cross the street and a scary looking homeless man walked up near me. There was a man in between us and he saw the scary dude checking me out and decides to MOVE out the way! He will get his in the future. Anywho, I quickly cross the street as the scary dude starts walking near me and I go into the shop thinking I lost scary dude. NOPE, he pops up RIGHT BESIDE me asking me what the time was. I tell him the time, he tells me I’m beautiful, I thank him then quickly jet away as the store owner calls out for him to leave me alone (thanks, man).

Second time, I’m on the metro and another crazy dude gets on the car at the far end. He’s making a lot of noise and I start thinking of my exit strategy to another car so I can have a nice peaceful ride. Dude starts walking my way and I think, he couldn’t possibly be aiming for me. Just to make sure, at the next stop, I get off. AND CRAZY DUDE FOLLOWS ME, CLOSELY, ONTO THE NEXT CAR! Seriously! He sits down near me and wants to know why I switched cars. I place my Bmore glare back on and said “because I wanted to” and turn my back on him even though he is still mumbling to me. People are looking at me with pity. He eventually gets off.

My nerves are getting bad now, if I get my baton, I’m thinking the only thing that’s going to happen is I end up in jail for assaulting some innocent dude who was probably running up behind me to hand me some money that fell out my purse but better safe than sorry, so friends, start saving up some bail money!
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Music of My Generation

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So I was listening to internet radio at work and got caught up in some of my generations “oldies but goodies” and it got me to thinking:
Why is it that music from your teen years is the most defining? Did we listen to more music then? This would explain why shows like TRL, geared towards teens, was so successful. Once we hit our twenties does our influence in pop culture die because we focus our money and time on other things?

Whatever the reason, I just find that  any music that is played from the time I was 11 through 21 years of age is the music that stirs me the most in ways that music after that or before that time hasn’t been able to do. Not that I don’t have artist now that I love; it’s just different. I get put in a real place in my life when I hear Crystal Water’s Gypsy Woman  (and In Living Color’s parody of it) or Jade’s Don’t Walk Away Boy (don’t act like you don’t remember them) and me getting braids.  I get excited and start doing the running man when I hear CL Smooth and Pete Rock “They Reminisce Over You”  and I know exactly where I was when I first heard Coldplay’s Yellow and the dance my sister and I did to Lost Boyz Jeeps Lex Coups Bimaz and Benz.  And let’s not forget how we played out the Goo Dolls Iris song and The Spice Girls Wannabe (heck, that’s still a karaoke pick of mine, I wanted to be like Scary Spice- well she was the only black girl and she inspired me to grow my curls out and stop getting a relaxer).
However, I will quickly turn the station now when Lil’ Wayne comes on (his voice just makes my ears bleed or is that the old “fuddy duddy” starting to emerge in me, if so, www.i’mgettingold.com ) and Rhianna and Lady Gaga music won’t get me pumped.

I don’t know, maybe it’s simply that when we are kids and teens we need soundtracks for our lives more than any other time period. When I hear these songs I don’t just remember the artist and the videos, I remember me.

Read Between the Lines

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So I posted this article I found on facebook but also wanted to do some commenting here. In summary, a mother sends her soon to be daughter in law a rude email about her etiquette and the daughter in law, in shock, forwards it to her friends who, in turn, forward it all. Now the world has seen this email and call the mother in law “momzilla”. But, playing the devil’s advocate, I’m not so sure I’m totally angry with this woman. First, here is an excert from the email:
from: Carolyn Bourne
to: heidi withers
subject: your lack of manners

Here are a few examples of your lack of manners:

When you are a guest in another’s house, you do not declare what you will and will not eat – unless you are positively allergic to something.

You do not remark that you do not have enough food.

You do not start before everyone else.

You do not take additional helpings without being invited to by your host.

When a guest in another’s house, you do not lie in bed until late morning in households that rise early – you fall in line with house norms.

You should never ever insult the family you are about to join at any time and most definitely not in public. I gather you passed this off as a joke but the reaction in the pub was one of shock, not laughter.

You regularly draw attention to yourself. Perhaps you should ask yourself why. No one gets married in a castle unless they own it. It is brash, celebrity style behaviour.

I understand your parents are unable to contribute very much towards the cost of your wedding. (There is nothing wrong with that except that convention is such that one might presume they would have saved over the years for their daughters’ marriages.)

If this is the case, it would be most ladylike and gracious to lower your sights and have a modest wedding as befits both your incomes.

One could be accused of thinking that Heidi Withers must be patting herself on the back for having caught a most eligible young man. I pity Freddie.

Now, granted some of this stuff was way harsh and she could have told the woman in person instead of via email but as I read some of the points I’m begining to wonder if the mother in law was really mad about everything up here. Would she have let the daughter in law’s late rising in the morning slide if she hadn’t demanded a wedding in a castle out of everyone’s, including her own family’s budget? Would the mother in law not care so much that the daughter in law got seconds without being offered if the daughter hadn’t bad mouthed her in public?

Looks like some gray lines here and I’m not so inclined to believe this mother in law is a woman from hell. Seems like her new daughter in law might also be a rude one. Really, I pity the groom.