So I posted this article I found on facebook but also wanted to do some commenting here. In summary, a mother sends her soon to be daughter in law a rude email about her etiquette and the daughter in law, in shock, forwards it to her friends who, in turn, forward it all. Now the world has seen this email and call the mother in law “momzilla”. But, playing the devil’s advocate, I’m not so sure I’m totally angry with this woman. First, here is an excert from the email:
from: Carolyn Bourne
to: heidi withers
subject: your lack of manners
Here are a few examples of your lack of manners:
When you are a guest in another’s house, you do not declare what you will and will not eat – unless you are positively allergic to something.
You do not remark that you do not have enough food.
You do not start before everyone else.
You do not take additional helpings without being invited to by your host.
When a guest in another’s house, you do not lie in bed until late morning in households that rise early – you fall in line with house norms.
You should never ever insult the family you are about to join at any time and most definitely not in public. I gather you passed this off as a joke but the reaction in the pub was one of shock, not laughter.
You regularly draw attention to yourself. Perhaps you should ask yourself why. No one gets married in a castle unless they own it. It is brash, celebrity style behaviour.
I understand your parents are unable to contribute very much towards the cost of your wedding. (There is nothing wrong with that except that convention is such that one might presume they would have saved over the years for their daughters’ marriages.)
If this is the case, it would be most ladylike and gracious to lower your sights and have a modest wedding as befits both your incomes.
One could be accused of thinking that Heidi Withers must be patting herself on the back for having caught a most eligible young man. I pity Freddie.
Now, granted some of this stuff was way harsh and she could have told the woman in person instead of via email but as I read some of the points I’m begining to wonder if the mother in law was really mad about everything up here. Would she have let the daughter in law’s late rising in the morning slide if she hadn’t demanded a wedding in a castle out of everyone’s, including her own family’s budget? Would the mother in law not care so much that the daughter in law got seconds without being offered if the daughter hadn’t bad mouthed her in public?
Looks like some gray lines here and I’m not so inclined to believe this mother in law is a woman from hell. Seems like her new daughter in law might also be a rude one. Really, I pity the groom.