Random posting that I’ve had on my mind for a while and will try to condense to a few paragraphs:
I have a difficult time with people who are jerks. It puts me in a foul mood, which affects my spirit and physical well being. In the end the jerks are living life just fine and I’m the one sitting in a corner burning mad. Since there are a lot of jerks out there one can be in a corner full of rage many times in their life. We can try to avoid this by telling people not to be jerks, pray that they won’t be jerks or just run from jerks. Yet we aren’t always that lucky.
So ten gained pounds, hair shedding, high blood pressure later, I am slowly but surely coming to the realization that jerks are people too. People who may have a different set of values and who I unfairly put certain expectations on with the hope that they think just like I do. Which is pure foolishness.
Instead, I am, as part of the new year- new me thang, focusing on what I can do to not let the jerks get to me. Is it mean to back stab, name call, treat people unfairly or rudely? Yes. But are people purely one sided evil? I refuse to think so. Every bully or mean girl has a good side or a hurt side prompting them to act out. Every harassing boss has a stressor that you may not know about (perhaps their own harassing boss). So I have decided to follow these steps I have gathered from various sources to reduce my anger at so-called jerks and live a more emotionally healthy life. This is no easy task but one worth it:
- Walk it out- studies show that stress and anger can be reduced with just a ten minute walk. I like exercise, I can walk.
- Think of the flip side- this is my down fall. I am quick to think the negative of someone’s motives. Those negatives may exist but why not think about another reason for an action being taken. Did they really bark at you because they hate you or did they yell because they just received some stressful news? Thinking higher of people may not change the situation but it will give you less heart burn.
- Stop binge thinking- I can think about an incident so intensely and for so long that I can’t get anything else done, including sleep. I read that it might be helpful to reserve thinking about an upsetting thing to only thirty minutes. Maybe have a set time, say 730pm. So if this thought creeps up at 9am shut it down and remind yourself you can think about it at 730.
- Always think of another point of view and try to come to an agreement. If someone does or says something you don’t like try to see the situation from their point of view, it might tone down the heat of your anger. Also try to find something in the other point that you do agree on and capitalize on it.
- Focus on other people’s problems. When you feel like wallowing in self pity, help someone else out. It might put things in perspective for you and your problems might actually go away.
- Listen to music. If all else fails, drown out the jerk with some music. Make your environment peaceful and remove yourself from the negative source. If you can’t escape maybe have a mantra running in your head. I watched RuPaul’s Drag Race and one of the contestants, while the queens were being critiqued by the judges, would whisper “water off a ducks back”. She always displayed a positive attitude and she won!
- Write a list of things you want to accomplish. Fill up your schedule with things you like to do and goals you want fulfill. Too much down time gives you too much time to focus on the negatives. You want better things to do. Also if these negative events have no baring on whether you can reach you goal they aren’t worth your energy fussing about.
By following these tips, you might lose weight, pick up a hobby and help someone need. Sounds better than letting stress and anger get the best of you. So breathe deep, let it go, live your life
I’m such a movie nerd and when it comes to action, fantasy and horror I get pumped. I say that to simply say I am excited to see these movies in 2014:
Jupiter Rising (no idea what it’s about, just looks cool and the Warchoski sibs (did you know that one is now a woman?) always know how to make a visually stunning movie)
Maleficent (Angelina Jolie as one of Disney’s scariest villains (at least to me as a child) in a “darker” version of Sleeping Beauty- yes please)
Transcendence (sci-fi tale starting Johnny Depp who always entertains me and it’s got Morgan Freeman so I’m game)
Xmen- Days of Future Past- All the Xmen who survived the first trilogy and the First Class prequel movie AND future Xmen (if you used to watch the cartoon or read the comics you know this story line) – I’m there even if I have to go alone (still trying to get to the New Hobbit movie on my own)
So if you recall part of my goals for 2014 is to drop weight. I’ve been trying to do that all 2013 and I just gained weight instead. There are other factors that led to the gain but I just came to realize that I just can’t do it on my own. So enough is enough. I joined Weight Watchers. I made the mistake of joining on a Friday which can make a weekend of fun difficult however Weight Watchers (or WW) is a very realistic program. You get a certain amount of points for the day to eat (and certain veggies and fruits give you zero points so you can eat as much of them as you want- although, there is a limit on how much broccoli I care to “go to town on” so its like saying you can drink all the water you want).
Just getting on the point system I realized how much I was eating. So I have 26 points I can use a day. Eating the way I normally did I would use 29-35 points regularly and on the weekend much more. By eating right, 26 points is a lot of points. Also I get 49 extra points for the week. So if I want dessert or drinks at some point in the week I can pull from those points. You also get points for working out. By end of week one I had lost 2 pounds but could do better. Here is what I learned:
- One- don’t use all the extra points just because you have them.
- Two- the activity(exercise) points will disappear if you don’t use them but again- just don’t, try to stick to the main points you have.
- Three- you will notice the type of eater you are and your weaknesses/strengths by the days you fall off (aka- go over your set daily points). I found out I am a stress and boredom eater and I eat more if I drink (so I think I will not drink for two weeks just to see a difference).
- WW has a great app that you can use when eating and shopping. It even has a scanner. So I can just scan the food I want to purchase at the grocery store or eat around my house to see how many points. Made a huge difference in what I ate and bought.
- Although I love to go out, being on a diet also affects what you drink. I’ve never been a heavy drinker but I am a fruity/sweet drink kind of gal and those are the drinks that give you major points. I had to change that. So long side cars (5 points), hello Skinnygirl White Cranberry Cosmos (1 point and actually good compared to the other drinks in this collection) or vodka/club soda (3 points).
- Biggest goodbye? My obsession with cupcakes and twizzlers. I have a list on Yelp of all my reviews of cupcake places in the area but I guess the list has come to an end. A regular large store bought cupcake is around 10 points! And twizzlers are like 1 point for one twizzler! To replace my candy fix I now get Dum Dums lodipops which are 1 point for two and if push comes to shove and I need a cupcake, I’ll have to cut it in half or save it for my extra point treat once in a while.
It’s a slow start but a start none the less. I want a Kim K/Beyoncé body, but I will not take selfies of my backside nor do I want to “show off my body”. (I am not in front of the camera so I don’t have that pressure to look good). I just want to fit right in my clothes again and be my feel good weight.