Things that would make me fight in an elevator

So by now everyone has heard about the Solange attack on Jay-Z after the Met Gala. We won’t know what set her off and I’m not here to justify it or speculate on what went down.

Honestly it’s none of my business and I don’t think they should have to explain anything other than saying “keep us lifted in your prayers”. But it did get me thinking about what would get me to act violently especially against a man. I mean, I haven’t fought since middle school (hey, it was self defense) so violence is not an easy thing to resort to. But I did come up with some reasons that might get me to wig snatching:

  • You lay hands on a female family member. I’m all turn the other cheek unless you hit my mother or my sister then I’m Mike Tyson. The males can defend themselves so I’m not jumping in their affairs. But if you are a man (or a woman) and decide you want to hurt my mom, well, call me Ali. Unless you’re The Rock or built like him, then I’m not getting in grown folks business because I don’t fancy a broken nose. But when the elevator door opens I will tase you and take off like the wind.
  • I was an angry drunk. I have too much of a sensitive stomach to get to the drunk stage and binge drinking isn’t my thang. Even then I imagine I’m a happy drunk but if I were angry I could see how alcohol could make things worse. Especially if you clowned my balloon dress and bowl cut (sorry for the shade but I just didn’t like the look and I usually love Solange’s style).
  • I have anger management issues. Which I don’t but if I did, I suppose fighting would be a normal thing for me. Angry people try to goad you in to their angry world by overreacting to things. I’ve had someone curse me out because of the laptop I wanted to purchase for myself. You just walk away slowly or quickly, whatever works. Or in JayZ’s position, cover your goods.¬†
  • You hit me. Like I stated earlier, I will fight in self defense. If you hit me then I’ll hit you back. Throw some hot grits on ya, something. Morale of the story is MLK/Ghandi would not be pleased. But as long as I’m free I don’t see myself sitting down calmly as someone pummels me.
  • I learned you did something that required a violent response. I don’t agree with this one but I’m trying to think out loud here. Maybe I watch too much Law & Order: SUV where some angry parent attacks the suspect who was accused of hurting their kid or murdering their partner.Or cheating. I don’t know if that justifies getting spit on but hurting or murdering someone sure does.

That’s all folks. I don’t condone violence. Not even trying to guess what the blow up was about but it did have this typically non violent gal asking what would make me come out my heels should I have a violent temperament.

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