I’m currently reading a book called Dating Detox in which a woman takes a three month break from dating/flirting/hanging out with guys. The talk show The Real, recently spoke about going on a dating hiatus. I have friends who are taking breaks (or sabbaticals) from dating. Apparently I am being given some signs that I finally need to see. People go on dating breaks for many reasons: find themselves, get over fears of being alone. These aren’t my issues. I know who I am and I’m pretty much a pro at being independent and on my own (probably to a fault). So going on dating breaks nowadays just didn’t seem to appeal to me.
Dating stopped being fun. And when it stops being fun you stop attracting what you want. I got to the point where I was starting to call dates- interdates (combination of an interview and a date) or meetings (or as a friend calls them “meet and greets”). When a date went well I had to qualify it with a “we will see” or “or so he says” or “you never know with these guys”.
In short, I was becoming a cynic. And did things get better? Nope, not really. As a believer in the Law of Attraction, I firmly believe that if you are in a negative mood you will attract more negativity. If dating had become more work full of distrust, un-fulfilment and disappointment then that’s what I would continue to get.
So now the idea of going on a dating detox sounds a bit appealing. Why focus energy on something that just isn’t bringing me happiness and then just getting more frustration as a result? What is appealing about the detox, and the book highlights this, is that you focus on other things in your life that bring you happiness. As a result it brings more happiness to you. In the book the narrator got a lot more attention from men but she was on her detox and kept them at bay, which in some cases saved her the trouble of dating jerks.
I am not sure yet if I will do a detox but I am certainly going to be more discerning when dating. If I’m not feeling it, I’m not going to push myself. If I’m feeling cynical I’m not going to go out. I have many other things to focus my energy on that bring me joy and I’d rather stay in that positive space.