Dating Detox

I’m currently reading a book called Dating Detox in which a woman takes a three month break from dating/flirting/hanging out with guys. The talk show The Real, recently spoke about going on a dating hiatus. I have friends who are taking breaks (or sabbaticals) from dating. Apparently I am being given some signs that I finally need to see. People go on dating breaks for many reasons: find themselves, get over fears of being alone. These aren’t my issues. I know who I am and I’m pretty much a pro at being independent and on my own (probably to a fault). So going on dating breaks nowadays just didn’t seem to appeal to me.

Until now.

Dating stopped being fun. And when it stops being fun you stop attracting what you want. I got to the point where I was starting to call dates- interdates (combination of an interview and a date) or meetings (or as a friend calls them “meet and greets”). When a date went well I had to qualify it with a “we will see” or “or so he says”  or “you never know with these guys”. funny-memes-starting-dating-again-700x700

In short, I was becoming a cynic. And did things get better? Nope, not really. As a believer in the Law of Attraction, I firmly believe that if you are in a negative mood you will attract more negativity. If dating had become more work full of distrust, un-fulfilment and disappointment then that’s what I would continue to get.

4952098_f520So now the idea of going on a dating detox sounds a bit appealing. Why focus energy on something that just isn’t bringing me happiness and then just getting more frustration as a result? What is appealing about the detox, and the book highlights this, is that you focus on other things in your life that bring you happiness. As a result it brings more happiness to you. In the book the narrator got a lot more attention from men but she was on her detox and kept them at bay, which in some cases saved her the trouble of dating jerks.

I am not sure yet if I will do a detox but I am certainly going to be more discerning when dating. If I’m not feeling it, I’m not going to push myself. If I’m feeling cynical I’m not going to go out. I have many other things to focus my energy on that bring me joy and I’d rather stay in that positive space.

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2 comments

  1. from a man’s perspective I have to say that dating a woman who is “interviewing” you isn’t all that fun. I’ve had my fair share of those dates and can tell you from my own personal experience that it was a big turn off for me.

    I agree with taking a break from dating for a few months…it’s not that you’re quitting…it’s that you’re taking a vacation for awhile to gather your thoughts, emotions and heart and placing them into a box so they can reboot. It’s healthy.

    Of course, I took a 6 month break from dating and it’s turned into three years…so who am I to give advice. LOL!

    Like

    • Yes, I really hate the interview thing. Guys do it too and it really is no fun but it starts to feel like you go on interviews if you go on enough dates. Sometimes you need a break to feel inspired again.

      Liked by 2 people

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