SATC Talk: Games People Play: Should We Go to Therapy for our Dating Issues?

I love the concept of this episode (Season 2 episode 13). Carrie has just broken up with Big for the second time and she is using her friends as a way to vent (and vent and vent) and get through her feelings. Problem is, they’re a little bit tired of hearing about him. So they recommend she see a psychologist.

I’ve heard of couples counseling for people married, engaged, divorced even dating but to see a psychologist to help you through a breakup? It’s actually a concept that is not that unique. My friends and I will gripe about a guy. It’s what we do. But sometimes a subject can be too heavy for us to handle. I am no Oprah, Iyana or Phil. I don’t think I can help a friend reach a breakthrough or “ahh-haa” moment. Sometimes you just need to talk to a professional to get some clarity.

We now have life coaches and even dating coaches because we recognize that sometimes people need help reaching their own personal self fulfilment. I don’t think anything is wrong with it as long as it’s helpful and not a bunch of clichés (which a future episode gets into and I will discuss).

Also your friends might not tell you the whole truth for fear of hurting your feelings. We women can sometimes be notorious for griping without really wanting a solution. And I am one of those women. Nothing pisses me off more than venting to a friend and having them respond in a clinical (albeit logical) way. Sometimes I want to complain with no fix or solution. I just want to get out my feelings through the act of blowing hot air.

But if the venting becomes repetitive and I see that a friend is really hurting long term then I think I would suggest counseling. It doesn’t mean I think the friend is wrong or unbalanced. It just means that I don’t think I’m helping and I don’t think she’s moving on for the better. If a professional can stop a woman from dating bad boys, get over a commitment phobia or trust issues, why not get the help? And, hey, no one need know!

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