SATC Talk: Attack of the Five Foot Ten Woman- Can You Be Friends With An Ex

Remember a few post back when I talked about guys going ghost? I didn’t like it then. But here is when I do like it: when we break up. I prefer to believe that a guy just vanishes into thin air when we are no longer an item. Perhaps abducted by aliens, gone to middle earth, trapped in the Bermuda Triangle. I really don’t care. Just leave my eye sight. I don’t want to stalk you on social media or see you in pictures or hear about you from a third party. Uh, goodbye!

This episode, episode 3 of season 3, is a continuation of the season two finale (the Ex and the City) which I didn’t talk about. In the finale Carrie insists that she and Big can be friends after the painful breakup and the painful encounter of seeing him moving on with another woman (that part always gets me).

 Nor do I want to hear about his wonderful new relationship, the new house, the new baby. I don’t want to become bffs with your new woman. Carrie ask where the love goes just because you break up. I say who cares? I’m a total Charlotte and agree that part of the penalties of breakup is that the friendship is over. I’m speaking in generalities. Of course there are some situations where this might not be the case ( the breakup happened when you were teens and now you are more mature, you have shared kids or work together, not losing any coins – love that new term- over a breakup), but, for the most part, we need not be friends or share the same air space. Why? Well, this clip from the finale sums it up for me:

 

 

Who wants to relive old feelings or go down the dark road of what went wrong, why her over me? I know a few people who maintain friendships but often I wonder why. What place do these people have in your life? Sure, on TV everything is calm and friends become lovers and lovers become friends but it just doesn’t work that way that well. I don’t want my man all besties with his ex (and the longer they dated and the older they were the less I like it) and I’m sure he could take a pass on me just casually going to dinner with an ex…without him.

But in Season 3 Carrie somehow comes to peace with it all (allegedly) when her friends try to cover up the notice of his wedding to the new lady. And she is so evolved that she will even attend an event planned by his new wife. Nonsense, because this is what happens

 

 

I would not be fine. If I saw his nuptials in my local paper I’d be confused about why he was still alive. Why was news about a disappeared person so relevant? In essence, we are rarely cool with befriending or even hearing about the lives of our exs. Sure there are some instances where it can happen but for the most part if I don’t need to see you for anything of importance like shared children or work well, boy bye.

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