And wow we enter the final part of decoding man. Below are the last set of questions I asked my male volunteers. By now we see the pattern. If in doubt, move on. Why waste the hair pulling, cocktail sessions with friends when you could be out having fun instead of complaining? Below are the questions, answers and my thoughts.
- Why do you just text me “hi” or “hey” or “how are you?” and then when I respond you don’t reply! Most guys stated that it’s a game. Of course some might then get busy (or fall asleep) and forgot about the text. but many said that the guy is just being whisy/washy. Or could be a drunk text.
Note the time you get those types of texts. I find they come at night. Either after 10pm on the weekdays or after 7pm on the weekend. Sometimes in the morning before work (in which case the busy excuse is believable and if it’s not too much later after 10pm the sleep excuse sounds plausible). It just seems like a guy throwing you a bone to let you know you aren’t erased from his mind and he’ll be in touch when he’s ready for you. I am not a fan of this and it’s no way to date or court a woman if this happens repeatedly (I’ve heard of this going on for months). Who wants to be on stand by?
2. When he cancels at the last minute and does not reschedule is he really just blowing me off/standing me up? Yep. If he was interested he would make every effort to make it up. He probably got a better/another offer. One said give it a few days to allow him to reschedule.
This one I knew and honestly don’t give a second chance if he doesn’t immediately reschedule (short of a family emergency). The longer he takes to reschedule the less interested he is. The later he cancels, the more inconsiderate he is (if I am in route to the meeting place and he texts or calls and says he’s sick, that’s a no go. He knew he was sick well before 30 minutes before the date.)
3. Do men like to be pursued or do they prefer to do the chasing? Guys like to at least get hints of interest before they pursue but most of my respondents (and this was a shocker for me) like to be pursued/chased especially by the “right” woman.
Ok so I just need to put the Jane Austin/romance novels down because clearly they aren’t relevant in today’s world. I thought all I had to do was bat a Maybelline mascaraed eye lash and I was good. I will say that the married responders said they preferred to chase in their single days. Not sure what that means but it reaffirms my thoughts that if a guy is really interested he will make the effort.
So the morale of this mini series is that dating is actually not complicated. We just have to spend time focusing on guys who are really interested in us instead of banging our heads against the wall about men who are just playing games. The right guy for you doesn’t need decoding.