How to Handle a Haunting: When Ghost Dates Come Back

We’ve all been there, you meet a guy (or girl). You go on a date or a few dates and then..radio silence. I’ve written about people going “ghost” before. But what do you do when that person comes back to haunt you?

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No not this type of haunting from a romantic interest.

 

This has happen to me more times than I care to mention but I’m always left with many conflicting feelings.

Outrage- Who does this guy think he is coming back and trying to talk to me after his rude behavior?

Pride- More than likely he went ghost because he met another person. So now he thinks he’s going to come back after it didn’t work out with the other person like I’m some second runner up? Harumph

Curiosity- What kind of excuse will he have for his behavior?

Conflicting Feelings- You’re annoyed but if you really liked this person at the time you might be open to going out to see if they are worth a second shot.

Hesitation- You decide to go out and see this person but you’re guard is WAAAY up and it might take a while to get comfortable trusting them again.

My advice for handling a haunting? First really decide if you even want to be bothered by this person again. Then if you think you might, acknowledge the behavior and make it known that it wasn’t cool. I think if it’s ignored then the person may feel it is ok to repeat the same bad behavior which ultimately is a waste of your time and emotions. If they give a response that sounds plausible or apologetic, decide if you accept.

Are they asking you out again? If you want to see them I suggest meeting up on your own terms. Maybe limit it to a drink, not too far from your home. I think it’s fair to limit your time and energy with this person to protect yourself then decide after the meeting how you want to proceed. If you decide to rekindle it then move forward but proceed with caution. You should still have fun together but that person has some making up to do.

Ultimately, as the saying goes, when someone shows you who they are believe them.

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